The fact that married men live longer than bachelors is something that the Today Show brings up a couple times a year on slow news days. Who knows if it's even true.
Irregardless (as we say in Southern Indiana), I was looking for a movie at Blockbuster tonight
and was cropdusting all over the place. I saw a few couples on what looked like really lame date nights and I had a thought bubble.
"Before I got married I had to go to Blockbuster with my girlfriend and hold all my farts in. I bet that's dangerous."
I have since (30 minutes) developed the following theory, and I don't want to get all scientific or nothin', but: Men live longer after they're married because they don't have to hold all that endole, scatole, and hydrogen sulfide (look it up if you're not Bill Nye) inside but rather can blow it all over the surrounding furniture, grocery store, or random couple making the horrible mistake of renting "Precious" on their first date.
I guess women don't get the same benefit since they don't ever let the barking spider out of its cage. Plus, even if they did, I've poisoned my wife's pillow so many times while she was in the bathroom that it would negate any health benefit she might've received from a "therapoot."
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