Quick Story

Tara Reid at The Fast and Furious Premiere.

(Yeah there's another one of those movies)

Anyway, it is not her bridal shower and those

are not bows from her presents. 

I think that's actually part of the dress.

Anyway, many years ago I was working in Chicago 

and the first day of work we all went to lunch.

Our boss stood up and was being her fabulous self..

when suddenly she zeroed in on me.

"You look like Tara Reid!

Has anyone ever told you that?!"

(Uh, NO...and gross)

However, this was right after she had the infamous

red carpet nip slip.

So, in front of about 20 people 

on the first day of my new job I say just as loudly...

"I promise I won't show anyone my boobs!"

Oh, ga.

Most of the people (Maybe all of them)

had not seen nor heard of the Tara Reid nip slip...

so, I just looked like a pervy girl from Indiana.

Great.

Mile High Singing

Apparently a woman on an American Airlines flight sang

I will Always Love You an estimated 60 times.

Now, the first 3 times I would've been giggling...

the next 57 times a heavy annoyance would've set in.

Everyone was trying to get her to stop.

They had to make an emergency landing and she was taken off

the flight. How mad would yu be if you missed your connection 

because some loony tune was singing Whitney?

Plus, you know who should sing Whitney songs? Uh, Whitney.

And maybe Jennifer Hudson. 

That's all.

Maybe they gave away free booze. 

Paris Fashion Week.

Diane in a beret. 

Gorg.

Rolling Stone

I just liked this cover. 

Ha. Do you think it's a photo shoot or

someone from RS just opened his bedroom door 

and yelled SURPRISE!

Anyway, under TV's LONG HOT SUMMER tag..

see Breaking Bad?

Watch it.

Season 5 starts mid-July.

It's so good. 

Do it.

Say Huh?

Drake and Tyra?

Dating?

Could be.

Hmmmmmmm.

The Fartain of Youth

The fact that married men live longer than bachelors is something that the Today Show brings up a couple times a year on slow news days. Who knows if it's even true.

Irregardless (as we say in Southern Indiana), I was looking for a movie at Blockbuster tonight

and was cropdusting all over the place. I saw a few couples on what looked like really lame date nights and I had a thought bubble.

"Before I got married I had to go to Blockbuster with my girlfriend and hold all my farts in. I bet that's dangerous."

I have since (30 minutes) developed the following theory, and I don't want to get all scientific or nothin', but: Men live longer after they're married because they don't have to hold all that endole, scatole, and hydrogen sulfide (look it up if you're not Bill Nye) inside but rather can blow it all over the surrounding furniture, grocery store, or random couple making the horrible mistake of renting "Precious" on their first date.

I guess women don't get the same benefit since they don't ever let the barking spider out of its cage. Plus, even if they did, I've poisoned my wife's pillow so many times while she was in the bathroom that it would negate any health benefit she might've received from a "therapoot."

Look Out, World

Somehow, the University of Alaska's hockey team isn't undefeated. Which is really bizarre, since they blew up all of the opposing teams' entire campuses. Enjoy their intro video, which I believe has since been purchased by the Republican National Convention.

Alaska Nanooks 2010 Hockey Intro from Szymon Weglarski on Vimeo.

Somehow "Mortal Kombat" was left off the soundtrack. I'm sure they'll update it for the 2010 season after the movie comes out in Alaska.